How To Become a Cat: The Ultimate Guide [11 Steps]

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How to become a cat

Are you tired of living a boring human life? Have you ever thought to yourself that cats have it easier than humans and wondered: How to become a cat in real life?

Well then, look no further, in this ultimate guide I’ll show you how to be like a cat in real life, and start living carefree.

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But first…

Is it possible to become a cat?

Sure, I mean, technically no, not in a biological way at least, but you can live your life as if you were a cat, so that’s pretty damn close if you ask me.

All you need to do is follow a few rules and guidelines and you too can become a cat and reap the benefits. So let’s go over a few of these, shall we?

How to be a cat in real life

First of all, it’s important to remember that you won’t be able to actually become a cat in real life, but by emulating their behavior you can at least act and live as closely as possible as a feline even in a human form. We’ll now go over 10 things that you can do to become a cat.

1. To become a cat: SLEEP

become a cat: sleep a lot

The first rule of becoming a cat in real life is to sleep a lot. Cat’s nap almost every time, it’s estimated that a cat can sleep between 12 to 16 hours per day some older cats even more.

So it makes sense that if you want to be like a cat you will have to find time for sleeping and napping almost everywhere. But cats don’t just nap in random places, they usually search for warm and comfy places, and sometimes that might include the lap of a human. But if you can’t find a human to nap on, then a chair, the sofa, or your bed will do.

Sure, you can even nap at work, but be careful not to get fired. I imagine that your boss won’t be too amused when you tell them that the reason why you need to sleep at work is that you’re trying to become a cat. So be careful not to get noticed if you do plan on napping at work.

2. How to be a cat: Wake up at 4 AM

wake up early

Cats are nocturnal creatures, after all, that’s what they did for all of their existence on this earth, they are pretty much brain wired to be active in the night to hunt and find food. Humans that want to become a cat would find out that waking up at 4 AM every morning comes with many great benefits, in particular, you will have more time for doing other activities.

For example, if you wake up like a cat at 4 or 5 AM you will have more time to get some extra work done before the actual work starts, playing with your hobbies, learning a new skill, writing a journal, meditating, exercising, etc.

It’s a known fact that some of the most successful humans are all waking up early to get a head start on others, people such as Richard Branson, Kevin Hart, The Rock, and navy seals such as Jocko, or David Goggins, are all waking up before the sun is up.

Cat’s also wake us up in the middle of the night, after sleeping all day, they suddenly become bored and not only that but as I’ve said they are nocturnal creatures, so they are more active at night than other pets. If you really want to be a cat, you must wake up early as well.

3. Become a cat in real life: EAT

eat like a cat

Cats eat often. They don’t eat huge meals in one go, they usually prefer to eat multiple times per day, of course, that is if they’re not a bigger cat for example a lion or a tiger because the rules change there. But our domesticated feline friends don’t need to eat a lot of food all at once because they prefer to stay light in case they need to chase after a bird or a mouse.

It’s not that ideal to go for a run after a big meal right? Cats know this, hence why they eat smaller amounts. They also don’t eat anything. If you want to become a cat, your diet should mainly include meat, and that’s about it really. So ideally you should follow a carnivore diet (eating only meat all day every day).

I realize that’s gross or impossible for some and even has some potential health side effects, but you can do the next best thing and try a ketogenic diet or keto for short. A keto diet is mainly based on healthy fats and meat, but you can also eat cheese, eggs, fish, and leafy greens. The keto diet will give you the energy that you will need to become like a cat that’s agile and nimble.

4. Stretch and exercise to live like a cat

Stretch like a cat

Here’s the thing, while cats like to sleep a lot, they are always stretching. So to become a cat in real life you too must start stretching on a regular basis and maintain an active lifestyle to be quick and flexible as a cat.

You don’t really need to do yoga or join a group or a club or a gym. Simple stretches and exercises that you can do at home are more than enough to live as a cat. Add some cardio in the mix, and you might even improve your overall human life span.

5. Clean yourself multiple times

clean yourself multiple times

Cats are incredibly clean animals. They CONSTANTLY clean themselves and you won’t see them lying around in the dirt too often. While water is indeed a cat’s worst nightmare, that doesn’t mean that they are dirty and don’t like to clean themselves, on the contrary, they are almost always scrubbing themselves to make sure that they stay clean and free of foul smells so that predators won’t sense them.

If you want to become a cat in real life you need to shower daily and clean yourself multiple times throughout the day, that means brushing your teeth, using a mouth wash, deodorant, even wearing a nice perfume, etc.

6. Becoming a cat in real life: Play outside

become a cat in real life by playing outside

When’s the last time you went outside to “play” or have fun instead of sitting inside on your mobile phone or laptop? Well, guess what silly human, if you want to become a magnificent cat, you must go and play outside.

Go for a walk or a hike or a picnic in the park, go investigate new places around town (cats are always curious and ready to explore new territories), go for a run or a bike ride, or fly a kite. It doesn’t matter what you do, but you need to get fresh air on a daily basis if you want to live your life as a cat.

7. Ignore people when they call your name

Ignore others when they call your name

It doesn’t matter what human name you’ve been assigned when you were born. From this day forward you don’t care about it anymore and when people mention you by that name you will ignore them. Cats always ignore their servants…I mean… humans when they are being called by their name.

In fact, here’s a funny piece of trivia: it’s been shown in a study that cats actually recognize their name and when they are called, but they simply choose to IGNORE it. So there, a simple rule to follow: ignore everyone that’s calling you by name, and only choose to engage with people when YOU feel like it. This is a must if you truly want to become a cat.

8. Follow others around

Follow others around

If you’re not living by yourself, another great way to become a cat in real life is to follow others around. It doesn’t matter what they are doing, your mission is to go there before them or sit there and stare at them while they are doing an activity, just for your own amusement and their annoyance.

Bonus points if you can follow your significant other to the bathroom when they need to do their business and you sit there quietly watching them (but of course never judging).

9. Become like a cat by staying alert and aware

Stay alert like a cat

Cats are always alert and aware of their surrounding, being curious creatures by nature, they will always thread carefully and calculate every move or jump that they take.

In today’s human world, this is more important than ever, when so many people are focused and with their heads in their phones, staying alert and being ready for something to go down at any minute is a cat-like behavior that you will need to incorporate into your life if you want to become a cat.

10. Bring presents to people

Give presents to others

If you ever had the wonderful and delightful experience of opening the door to a “freshly” squeezed mouse or bird, then you know that’s a gift from your feline friend for you.

Cats show their appreciation to their humans by bringing them presents and gifts from time to time, it can be a bird that they have watched, or a mouse or a leaf, it doesn’t matter, you need to accept it gracefully thank them for their generosity. Even if they have stained your welcome mat or carpet.

To become like a cat you must also show your appreciation towards your favorite people in your life by bringing them presents and gifts every now and then. It can be something as small as a flower or a bag of chips, but they will appreciate it.

11. Investigate everything

investigate everything like a cat

Like I’ve previously said, cats are curious creatures and they need to know pretty much everything. So if you hear weird sounds and noises especially at night, it’s probably best to go and investigate what’s going on. Of course, you should probably bring something to defend yourself with (if the situation requires it), but in any case, you must be curious about anything.

This also means that you should probably go and travel and experience other cultures and see new places and make new memories with your human friends. But to become a cat in real life means that you should never let your guard down and always bring your curiosity with you. And while curiosity killed the cat (allegedly), the satisfaction brought it back, at least that’s how the original quote goes.

Becoming a cat in real life: Conclusion

So there you have it, 11 ways and methods that you should follow if you want to become a cat in real life. I hope this ultimate guide of how to be a cat helped you out and it was beneficial for you in your quest of transforming yourself into a powerful and mighty feline.

Hey, even if you implement one of the tips on this page, your human life is surely going to improve massively. Who doesn’t want to nap more? I know I do.

Until next time,
Meow-meow.

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